Sunday, September 15, 2013

Unspoken

There are those times, late at night..or on a still and quiet afternoon, even in the very early morning hours, when your heart renders up those thoughts you have no words to speak. Those things that ache, the yearnings and pain that life has brought that you no longer have the strength to look at, much less name.
You hug yourself a little tighter, hold yourself a little more still, or rock just a slight bit more. Whatever it is that quells that surge threatening to overtake, but stays simmering just below the surface. Push it back, think about those things another time..perhaps they will be fewer and life will have sorted by then, you hope..but fearing you know it's likely not the case and one trial or hardship will be replaced with another. It seems to be the lot in life.
How did life come to this? My life in boxes, a house that's not our own, no roots, no feeling of being settled. Health issues continuously knocking. It makes me wonder, a lot, what the plan is. I second guess every decision now and wonder if they're the right ones to choose.

Faith is a hard won thing sometimes, even as a gift


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